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Erotic Memoirs of a Middlesex Escort

The unbearable lightness of being a Middlesex escort

26th April 2012

Peace and quiet can be so incredibly delicious when you lead such a hectic life as me. I seem to spend most of my time in loud pubs and restaurants or dancing to a heavy rhythm and blues beat in a nightclub. I buy my clothes from a local shopping mall and that is hardly a haven of tranquillity. I hadn’t really noticed before but there was something special about being curled up in a fluffy dressing gown in front of a real fire and reading a book – even if my ‘book’ was actually an e-reader but never mind. Time seemed to slow and I found myself lethargic and sleepy. After all my recent sexual adventures perhaps my body was telling me to take it easy. I had certainly done a lot of thinking recently – to the irritation of a blonde escort called Eve who was absolutely fed up with my philosophising on the meaning of life!

Sat in my house all I could hear was the tick-tocking of the old clock my late grandmother had left me. It had pride of place on the mantelpiece and I loved the lacquered wood and the delicate hands and the deep golden face and the roman numerals and just about everything about it. It had been my prized possession ever since I was a little girl and it gave me a constant reminder of the relationship between mortality and time. I had seen a television programme with Morgan Freeman the other day about time and most of it went way over my head but some of it had lingered in my brain, haunting me really.

The bit that really got to me was the theory of the multiverse. I told all of the Middlesex Visiting Escorts about it, expecting to be able to show off my new scientific knowledge and earn some respect but as it happens one of the busty escorts had a degree in mathematics from Middlesex University – it had been while studying for her degree that the sexy escort, Susannah, had begun to work for the Middlesex escort agency – and could almost give me the equation for the damned theory, almost!

Anyway for those of you who are interested the idea is this, there are an infinite number of universes with an infinite number of permutations. You will appear in more than one of these universes. In some you will be rich, in others poor, in some intelligent and in others illiterate and with all combinations in between. Can you imagine – a sexy Middlesex escort could be eclipsed by an even sexier one and then an even hotter visiting escort after that...

You’re thinking it’s nonsense but I will leave you with one fact – the basic components of our being can literally be in more places than one at the very same time. Go on, Google it!